So I started this #1000 miles challenge, but I almost didn't. 1000 miles seems like such a daunting goal, and I was positive that I was never going to be able to meet it. If I couldn't be sure that I could make the goal I wasn't even going to try.
And it is not just this challenge. If I can't run five miles I sure as hell am not going to run/walk for 30 min or even 20 for that matter. If I can't meditate and obtain Dali Lama like enlightenment than what is five minutes focusing on my breath in my own backyard going to accomplish? If I can't design the perfect on line course (a dream of mine) then I'm not even going to put it out into the universe that it is something that I want.
If I can't do something perfectly than I'm not going to even try.
As all the things I was waiting to do until I could do them perfectly began to build up, I began to feel stuck, in a state of perpetual waiting- waiting to be perfect. Sadly, I realized that this perfectionism quirk of mine had held me back and kept me from living my life.
No, I can't run five miles, but if I had kept going, pushed on, not given up, I'd probably be running 1/2 marathons by now.
If I hadn't been so worried that people would laugh, that it would be stupid, that it wouldn't be good enough...perfect... that on line class would be up and running and would have give me the confidence and inspiration to come up with how many more?
I may not reach 1000 miles by July 4, but as I was putting in my piddly (to me) two miles and wondering how I was going to reach 1000 miles two measly miles at a time, it dawned on me that two miles becomes, five, becomes ten, becomes a half marathon. If I keep putting in the miles, I will make progress, and I will be running more than two miles in July. Now I'm excited thinking about how much further I will be in July and I can't wait to see the miles I'm running.
I can't wait to see how much progress I have made, not how perfect I will be!
I know that "Perfectionism" gremlin. He is a truly annoying bastard! No actually, he is a bully and the best thing to do with bullies is to square up to them and they quickly scuttle off when they realise there is no fun to be had from trying to belittle you.
ReplyDeleteAs for two miles... there is nothing piddling about that! I ran my first 10K (approx. 6 miles) race in November in ten years and what got me back into it was a Coach to 5K programme with a first run consisting of 8 x 1 min of running, so just stick with it, lady...
Thanks for the encouragment. I have done 5Ks in the past, but it seems once the race is over, I fall over the running wagon so to speak! I'd love to do a 1/2!
ReplyDeleteThere is a post on here somewhere about me thinking of the bully gremlin as a mean girl cheerleader! I guess I didn't realize they were one in the same until you pointed it out.